 Cassandra pushed her hands deep into her coat pockets and continued walking. The October winds intensified the cold nip to the air, so she pulled her baby blue stocking cap down as far as it would reach and decided to keep going. Autumn leaves were scattered along the road, and swirled around her feet. The trees still held the beauty of their red and yellow leaves, but soon they’d all be grounded and winter would be here.
Heavy dark clouds gathered in the sky, and a strong wind picked up and blew her honey-blonde hair in tangles around her shoulders. Still, she walked on, deep in thought, her only means of escape from the miserable life she’d been living for so many years.
As she rounded the next corner, she spotted the familiar black pickup truck. Old memories flooded through her, tears blurring her vision. He restored the pickup, just as planned. It had always been his cherished possession.
She kept walking, while her mind drifted back to that day; to her strong feeling of loss when she stood and watched Sean walk away from her. She would never love anyone with the depth and emotions that she loved him. He’d been her rock, her soul, her everything, and when he told her they should go their separate ways, it hurt so much. She tucked those feelings away when she thought she’d finally found the “perfect” husband.
Her yearning had only hurt her over the past twenty-two years, and it wouldn’t help matters today. She needed to forget. Those precious carefree days were gone.
She continued at a brisk pace for a while, then stopped, turned, and slowly headed toward the mall, kicking lightly at the stones in the gutter, debating whether to go inside; it would be just a stroll through the mall, a little window-shopping; no big deal.
Entering through the east side entrance, she looked around, passed by the pet shop and strolled toward Sears. She walked slowly, then paused in front of the window... and there he was. It was still his favorite department, Sears Craftsman Tools.
She stood quietly, watching him. He hadn’t changed much at all, still as handsome as ever.
Suddenly, a young boy bumped into her and knocked her purse out of her hand, scattering the contents on the floor. He apologized and kept walking. She knelt, placed everything back into her purse then stood up and glanced back at the window. There he stood, gazing at her from the other side of the glass. Their eyes locked as a single tear ran down her cheek. She quickly turned and left the mall.
Walking another mile Cassandra felt the moisture mounting in the air and a few wet drops splattered her face. Her fingers tingled with cold, and she wished she’d worn gloves. She picked up her pace.
Jeff would be home soon and expecting dinner.
She trudged up the driveway just as the last of the sunlight dipped behind the oak tree in the backyard. A gust of wind rustled the dry leaves, blowing them about, as the first raindrops struck the paved drive.
Jeff was pulling into the driveway when she entered the kitchen. She knew he’d take his time out in the garage. He’d be wiping down his car, to remove the splattered raindrops. She’d have to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why dinner wasn’t on the table. I hope that he had a good day today. Please Lord, please let him be in a good mood.
The door leading into the kitchen opened as Cassandra stood at the stove, frying hamburger. Jeff, dressed in his filthy work clothes, came up behind her and the first thing he said was, “Isn’t supper ready yet? What are we having?”
No greeting, no words of endearment. Not that she expected any. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d come home with a smile and a kiss, showing her how happy he was to see her.
Jeff was six feet tall, and Cassandra only five-two, so he was able to look over her shoulder. She sighed when she noticed him place his dirty hand on the counter near the food.
“I just started making Sloppy Joes. Supper will be ready in about twenty minutes.”
She swiped hair from her cheek with the back of her hand. “I worked late and just got home a little while ago,” she added, as if he cared.
He pulled a beer from the refrigerator and left the kitchen.
“Well, hurry up. I’m hungry,” he yelled from the living room.
Though she couldn’t see him from here, she could trace his movements in her mind: closing the drapes before flopping down in his recliner, kicking off his shoes, loosening his belt, and dripping beer on the end table as he grabbed the remote.
Jeff never had a weight problem until he’d begun drinking excessively, soon after they married. Even though he’d accumulated a well-rounded beer belly over the years, according to him, he still had sex appeal and girls lining up, begging for attention. Yeah, right. She added the chopped onion, a shake of garlic powder, and continued to stir their dinner. When they first met, he really was good looking, with his dark brown hair, big brown eyes with amber specks, and a breathtaking gaze that attracted women like a magnet.
“Hey, Jeff, will you get the buns out of the freezer? I forgot to bring them up when I was downstairs.”
“I just sat down. This new reality show just started. You can go get them. I’m not in that much of a hurry to eat.” It would be nice if he’d help out a bit, but at least he seemed sober… so far, she thought, and went down to the basement.
“Where are the kids?” he yelled over the noise from the T.V. “I need my paper.”
“Kayla’s at band practice and Kyle’s having supper at Dave’s,” she said, when she returned. “They’re studying together for an important test tomorrow.” She reached up into the cupboard for plates.
The twins had always been busy at school, and involved in extracurricular activities. She was proud of them, they gave her a reason to carry on. Kayla played the trumpet in the Woodland High School Marching Band and Kyle was on the track team with his best friend Adam.
“Well, where’s my paper? I’d like to read it before I eat.”
“It’s on the porch right where the carrier always leaves it.”
“Well, get it for me, will ya?”
“Jeff, please get up and get it yourself, I’m cooking your dinner.” Damn, I just worked a ten-hour day. Doesn’t he think I get tired too? How much longer can I put up with him?
“Damn, you’re in a mood today,” he growled. “I’ll read it later.”
When the delicious, spicy aroma drifted from the skillet and filled the kitchen, her stomach growled. She knew from experience though, that he could make her lose her appetite. As she set the table, she thought back to when she met Jeff. She’d been on the rebound from splitting up with her boyfriend. Jeff Becker appeared to be such a sweetheart back then. When he learned how heartbroken she was, he promised her that he could be the husband she’d always dreamed of having. They married six months later and purchased a two-bedroom log home located on five acres of beautiful countryside in Bermington, Minnesota.
Soon after the twins were born, they decided to look for a larger home. After searching for six months, they finally found a three-bedroom rambler in Woodland, a quiet suburb located fifty miles south of Bermington. It had a beautiful lawn, filled with the scent of lilac drifting from the bushes running along one side of the house. A white picket fence surrounded the back yard with a large oak tree located in the center, providing shade during the hot summer months. Schools for the twins were all within one mile, and everything seemed to be picture perfect.
Not long after their move, Jeff began to spend every Saturday at a bar. As the manager of an auto repair shop, he seldom put in more than eight-hour days. Eventually, he started to have a “need” to go to the bar every night on his way home from work, as well as his “necessary” weeknight visits.
Cassandra soon realized that they’d fallen so far into debt that her full-time office position at the insurance company wasn’t enough to make ends meet. Jeff refused to look for a second job, so Cassandra applied for an evening position with a cleaning service. She cleaned offices in a two-story building at Silver Bullet Plaza.
It was located only two miles from home, and she worked a four-hour shift, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. Tuesdays and Thursdays, she’d come home from the office, hoping to relax a bit on her nights off, and yet Jeff expected her to do everything at home, as usual. The cooking, cleaning, laundry; he never helped, he worked too hard every day, he told her. The twins would help when she asked them to, but they were usually busy with after-school sports and homework. She hated to disrupt their schedules. She wanted them to be able to have the fun that she never had.
“Jeff, supper’s ready.”
“Bring it in here, will ya? I’m tired and my program is still on.”
“Would you mind coming out here and getting it? Kyle will be home in an hour, and I have to pick Kayla up from school.”
Suddenly, Jeff entered the kitchen and swept his huge, burly arm across the table. The plates holding the Sloppy Joes went flying, splattering the wall, running down the side of the refrigerator and ended up all over the floor she scrubbed the night before.
“Now you can clean it up. I’m the tired one. I’m the one who works in this family. All you do in that damn office of yours is sit on your ass and push a pencil around. This filthy floor damn well better be clean when I get up in the morning.”
Cassandra nodded; she agreed with everything he said, not because she loved him, but because she was afraid of him.
She quickly mopped up the floor, did her best to wipe everything down, and hoped the twins wouldn’t notice. She tried to hold back the tears as she grabbed her keys and ran out the door, just as a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder burst across the blustery sky.
Continues... |
|
No comments:
Post a Comment